Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
