her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
