it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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