will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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