Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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