You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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