Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
