Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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