come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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