does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
