I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
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