We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
