So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize