I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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