He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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