mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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