You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
