I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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