Im at strip club and am horny
we have officially lost it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
