I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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