Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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