Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize