Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
