I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
