Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize