If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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