just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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