At least make sure they are 18
Why
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
