You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
