There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
