I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
