when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
