I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
