I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
