OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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