Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
