yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
