We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
