Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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