dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
