there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
