hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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