Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
