idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you traded sex for a burrito?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
