he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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