i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
