I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize