he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
