i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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