it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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