And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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