You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
