oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
