this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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