I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
