school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
