her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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