oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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