my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
