The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
