you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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