True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
