Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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