the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
as a side note pls kill me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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