called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
