I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
