This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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