I wish life had little blips of pornography
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
