Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she pinky promised me she was 18
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
