Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
