Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
